I am singing the melody part of 1234 by Feist alone for Melodies on Tuesday and am really nervous. I feel like I shouldn't be the one doing it because my singing voice isn't really anything great, and there are people way more qualified to song it like Jen and Amy and a lot of people. I am really nervous I will sound bad. I don't want anyone to go because I am embarrassed. So if you're reading this please don't. Or do. Maybe I'll sound great, it's unlikely though. I like to sing a lot and I love the song, but my voice isn't strong or anything. However, after 8th grade graduation Mr. Bell came up to me and said that I should pursue a career in singing and that if I ever needed help I should let him know. Hahaha. At the time I was so happy and told all my friends but now I realize that he had no idea what he was talking about because our graduation song was a joke. He also didn't even know my name for three years, so maybe he got me confused with someone else.

My eyelids really want to be shut right now so after every three sentences I am half opening them and then fixing my errors and repeating. I am doing surprisingly very well at typing with them closed, but I just wrote 'terrors' instead of 'errors' and laughed a little. I am drowsy due to the Tylenol PM I took because my leg is in a lot of pain. I got hit really hard at my soccer game and had to be carried off the field. It's weird when I'm playing soccer, my pain tolerance increases so much, like nothing hurts me during a game, but when I get home all I do is complain about how sore and bruised I am.

Today is different though because I think I might have torn my meniscus and possibly but hopefully not my ACL or MCL. My coach said he didn't think it was that because it didn't swell too much. The pain starts on the inner side of my right knee, curves around my knee cap to the middle, and shoots all the way up to the top of my leg below my hip. My dad says he hopes its just my hamstring and not anything bad with my knee because that would heal faster. I'll probably have to walk on crutches for the next couple days which I hate because they are uncomfortable and hurt my armpits. I want to bend my leg up and curl into a ball and fall asleep but I can't because whenever I move my leg or put weight on it, a tense and almost sharp sensation of pain follows along the same path I previously stated. My parents wanted to take me to the hospital to get it looked at but I was too tired and would rather just go in the morning or call the doctor tomorrow. And the Ty ty PM is helping me fall asleep without much pain, but I have to keep my leg in the same position, which I really don't like. I squirm a lot when I sleep. I'm what you would call a Squirm Worm. I hope my leg is okay though because I don't want crutches at graduation. Even though I think it would be funny, or as Lanny said, it would be "inspiring." I wouldn't go that far.

I decided in the middle of the last paragraph to just open my eyes instead of correcting everything because it was getting annoying to fix it.

Today all of my friends are doing fun things and I am stuck at home. I really wanted to go to Vermont, but it just couldn't work out. I don't think I tried enough for it to work out though. But I had a lot of stuff to do today, like work. And I really wanted to go to Parker's Eagle Court celebration. AND I really wanted to go to Jenny's birthday party. But instead I am laying in my bed with a bag of Big Y Green Beans on my knee, wearing ugly pajamas and for some reason watching Maneater, this riduculously stupid show on Lifetime staring the girl from Scrubs.

I feel like I think a zombie would feel, probably not as resentful for being half dead-half alive though.

The song for today is Sectionate City by Andrew Bird because it is absolutely beautiful. It's instrumental and I've seen him play it live twice. I really want to live in his music, not in a place that its played, but somehow, if it were possible, just be trapped in it. This is a really nice thought to me.