slosh

I have been undergoing rapid mood changes. Before I can process one feeling, it flees and leaves me utterly confused. I guess that is just part of college ... and of life.

Another thing I've been doing is lying; about trivial things that I never thought were remotely true. I haven't done this type of lying since middle school, where it got to the point of being a problem. Just an example, this evening I told Lizzie that it was going to get really cold and ice over tomorrow. I had no idea whether or not that was true, but I said it anyways. It wasn't a lie seeking attention, or a pretentious fib for self-stimulation. We weren't even talking about weather. It is invigorating though - letting loose these free flowing fabrications, anticipating how people will react to them, and the prick of guilt and pity for oneself if caught in the act. I realize that this is not a likable trait, and that sooner or later people will realize it and find me obnoxious. Hopefully it's just a phase; possibly inspired by boredom, instability, lack of sleep, or these damn unruly emotions of mine.

Just one more week until I can go home for a whole month. One third's time of this summer relived in slosh, layers, and new story lines. If at the very least, it will be interesting. But I am hoping sometime at home can give me some perspective. I know we all could use it at this point. "New me" and "old me" don't have many discrepancies, other that "new me" wishes parts of "old me" could just vamoose. Then again, "old me" wishes the same thing.

Time to study.


That's a lie.