I feel suspended above any reality. Going home this weekend was very bizarre. I felt out of place and I knew that I didn't have a place anywhere else. My family is preparing to put my house on the market and move to Maine. I don't know what I am going to do next summer. I feel like I will never have a home again until I make my own later in life. It is the worst feeling. I want to be able to return to how things were this summer, but part of me knows that it will never be the same, especially if I'm not even living in the place as all the friends that I love. I am scared to loose it all; let it slip through my fingers. I want to see everyone and talk to everyone just so I can have some reassurance that I will be able to maintain friendships. I am scared of losing, I am scared of more change atop the change I've already encountered, and I am scared of being lonely.


living in the tear between two spaces condemned
in one of the many places
you're not
I am