Go find yourself a dry place.

The computer I am on right now makes everything look elongated and awful. I was forced to stay at my Aunt's house tonight due to my brother's urging to drive my car to Connecticut to see his college friends before they all go abroad this fall. He really wanted to go, and it truly had no affect on me other than sacrificing a night with my friends. My Mom gave me a ride at 7:15 to Bolton and I will spend the night so I can be here in the morning to watch the girls. They have an fourth floor which I think was the attic which they transformed into a suite. It has it's own bathroom and shower and bed. It's almost like a mini apartment cluttered with kids toys. The first time I babysat here was in 5th grade with Ainsley Doherty when Bella was only 1. After putting baby Bella to bed, we watched the Kid's Choice awards and slept in the attic. We stayed up all night putting on finger puppet shows for each other and making up songs. It's weird to think I was babysitting when I was still so immature.

Wow, I strangely can't focus at all on what I'm writing because I am so unaccustomed to the ugliness of this computer. I have been the only person awake in the house since 10:00 and I don't know what to do with myself. My phone doesn't have service, and nobody has been on Facebook chat the times I've checked. Pathetic, isn't it? I was watching So You Think You Can Dance? earlier but my Uncle kept on walking into the room, and each time he did I flipped it to the Red Sox game as to not reveal my guilty pleasure. There's always an awkwardness to picking out television shows in someone else's house because you don't know what they watch usually and how they will judge you based on you pick a show. I ended up missing the entire finale.

My entire day today was overshadowed with the enormity of thoughts occupying my mind. This hasn't neccessarily been a bad thing. I think the realization of your thoughts is one of the most interesting discoveries. It's sort of like when you start to think about blinking. You notice that you are blinking. You tell yourself you'll stop thinking about this bizzare eye twitch but as long as you try you can't stop thinking about it because it's so constant. Eventually you move on, right? You don't notice you're blinking anymore but you still always are. I like to think all thoughts are like this. Ready to burst, so volatile that sometimes they overlap and consume you. I mean, it's good to think, and as long as you don't dwell on certain thoughts too long you can find a little peace. Thoughts are so fickle. And now I can't stop thinking about thinking ... and blinking... and how ugly this all looks on this computer.