It's been a while. I starting out not writing out of the sheer desire not to, but yesterday afternoon when I was ready to write my internet was down, and still was when I go home late last night. At Six Flags I tried to point out every stupid remark Jenna Bonci made that we both knew were blatant lies or exaggerations. It was almost like a game, and I didn't feel bad because she thought I was joking, busting her chops, that sort of thing, when in reality I wasn't at all. I was able to make the conclusion that we are complete opposite people on nearly every level, our single commonality being that we share the same place of work. And even at work we are so different. I do what needs to be done quietly and quickly, am polite and professional to the customers and only really joke around with a few of my co-workers whom I've known for a while and get along well with. Whenever Jenna is doing a job, oh, you'll know. She'll brag about it like she won an olympic medal because she was assigned to make cream cheese. Then she'll spend 20 extra minutes than it would normally take any other employee, acting like it's the hardest thing she's ever done. She tries to befriend every customer like they are her age, and talks so loudly and obnoxiously to everyone, even my boss, that sometimes I just want to go and hide in the walk-in refrigerator for a while. I really don't want this to sound too mean, because these statements are just observations I've made over the past three years that solidified by spending a day in it's entirety with her on Monday. And despite how annoying she is, nearly all the time, there is something that I actually do like about her, I don't know what.

Today, I snapped on my kids. I woke up, not being able to sleep in my own bed (my 88 year old step-Grandma who I have met 5 times stayed at our house last night) and was running very late. My car didn't have gas in it, my own fault as usual, so I sped to the gas station 10 minutes later than I usually leave. I ended up being only 5 minutes late to work, because I went 85 mph on I- 190 the whole way there. I am surprised my 20 year old Volvo did as well as he did. Anyways. The girls were particularly riled up today. We were in the pool and I had an awful headache. The sun was blaring down unforgivably and the girls were climbing all over me as usual. Sometimes I like to believe that babysitting can be harder than actual parenting, at least physically. Of course babysitting fails in comparison next to to parenting because parenting changes your entire life, but that one day when you are babysitting, not only are you disciplining, cleaning, driving them places, making lunches, watching them in the pool, getting them dressed, etc, but you are forced into playing with them the entire day as well. To the kids you are like a new toy every time you come and I swear that by the time I'm ready to go my screws are loosened and my seams are tearing apart. (toy pun) Well, I was getting fed up because Emma kept on pinching me on the butt in the pool, which at first was sort of cute, but then the other girls got a kick out of it and it turned into an all out attack on Kelsey. I was in the deep end, struggling to keep my head above water as Emma continued to pinch me, and spat water she gulped up from the pool onto my face while Mia, who just stripped down nude after me asking her specifically not to, starting whacking me with her swim suit in the head meanwhile Bella, who had her hands and legs wrapped around my body, was pulling me underwater. This is when I snapped. I pushed them off of me, stormed out of the pool and said quietly with my teeth gritted like a wolf, "Get. Out. Of the pool. RIGHT. Now. All of you." They continued to giggle so then I grabbed Mia by the arm (she was the closest) and forced her to sit in a chair in a time out. The other girls stopped, and I whispered, "Get out!" once again in the same manner. Mia started to cry. "But why do we have to get out?" Emma said. "BECAUSE I SAID SO!" I finally yelled. They hesitantly got out onto the cement where I grabbed them both my the arms and sat them down in their chairs. I went onto a lawn chair three feet away from them and just sat there for 3 whole minutes without saying anything so I could calm down. Mia was still crying and saying, "Kelsey doesn't love me anymore. I'm sahhhreeee. I didn't mean to whip you in the face on porpoise, it was on accskident." Then I calmly explained that of course I loved them, but they couldn't get away with doing things like that just because I'm the babysitter and their cousin, and that they showed no respect for me or my personal space. Then I told them to play a game by themselves for an hour while I stayed in the lawn chair and gained my composure. The thing about this job is that, sure there are moments when I am relaxing by the pool and I'm thinking, why the heck am I being paid right now? But then it's days like today when I get home and am so drained physically and mentally and I think there could be no harder job. Right now I can't keep my eyes open.