Orientation is finally over. We haven't had a lot of down time. The day we moved in, parents were here until 4:45 then we said our goodbyes and it was like a whirlwind of activities since. We had breakfast lunch and dinner in our orientation groups everyday so far until this morning. Not to mention in the meantime we had a tour of the school, a department meeting, a banquet in which we all dressed up, a comedian, a magician, three speakers, a hypnotist, and a Freshmen Dance. Yesterday we had a break from 12:30 until 6:30 and that's when I feel loneliness and missing of what I left behind consume me. My internet is down in my entire dorm building too which made it even harder and disconnected from everything. It is still down, and for some reason only my roommate's ethernet jack is working, so I am sneakily on her computer right now, not that I think she would mind but she is at church right now and I didn't ask. At least I have the "beep beep beeps" to warn me when she is coming back.

Let me tell you about the people I have met. There is Torrie, my roommate who I really like a lot. She is considerate, understands my sarcasm and actually thinks I am funny, hasn't really connected with anyone else here yet (like me) but her boyfriend is here too, who I actually like. It hasn't been awkward between us at all, and on the first day we talked about how we are both weird with meeting new people. I feel really comfortable with her. We went to breakfast together today.

There is my orientation leader Matt, a senior from Statton Island, New York. Total idiot. But so funny. There is Devon, a pretty girl who reminds me of Hilary Blakeney because she wears Red Sox T-shirts a lot. She and her roommate are really good friends. There is Joe who is also in my orientation group. He is from Auburn, Ma and I think he is cute. He never talks.

There is Lizzie. She is in my orientation group. She is quiet, not what most people in America would call "pretty" and likes Coldplay, which I would say is okay for what the majority of people here at St. A's like. I've heard Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus four times since I've been here. She has golden wheat colored hair which is stuck around her face in tamed tight ringlets and pulled to the side of her neck with an elastic. Her eyebrows are "too" plucked and she occasionally has saliva built up in her mouth when she does talk. I wouldn't consider her a friend yet, but whenever there is something to be done in the group we sit next to each other and I make cynical remarks to her in small doses to slowly reveal to her how I have not been enjoying myself.

Things were getting better last night. We had a hypnotist show, and I got hypnotized! Just for a bit of it. He started it off in the audience. When he called us up to the stage, there were too many people so he un-hypnotized me because I didn't get up there time to get a seat. It was the weirdest feeling though. And to be honest I'm glad he did because I got to watch other people make fools of themselves rather than be the fool. I got the "best of both worlds" you could say. The show was really funny. Then we had the dance after that show. I was in a great mood and enjoying myself and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Lizzie was dancing next to me mouthing aloud the words to "Every time we touch" by Cascada. Her dancing was similar to the movements a caveman would make. On my left was a girl I had never spoken to with a frizzy blond pony tail following along similarly. Becky, another girl from my orientation group (whom I like more than anyone else in my group, even after she revealed to me her favorite band was Paramore) was reluctantly swaying side to side next to me smirking. There was a random brunette girl in a black dress to the side of Lizzie making hand movements to each part of the song. To the side of her was a heavy set girl "raising the roof" I think some people would call it. We were located off to the side, and in the core of the dance is where a bunch of girls and guys were dancing and laughing with each other. I had some weird crystallizing moment and turned to Becky and told her I was going back to my dorm, and that my feet hurt from my heels. I walked backed to my dorm, skirt heels and all, and on the way got hit on by a group of boys wearing all black dress pants and dress shirts with a combination of either a red or white tie and one of those stupid hats that are too big for their heads. "Where are you going baby, you should come back to the dance." I wasn't sure if that made me feel worse or better, which in the end made me feel worse for even thinking that could make me feel better. I got to my dorm, opened up the door using my ID card, walked down the poorly lit hallways, alone, punched in the numbers of my door only to enter my room and see my roommate's boyfriend sitting on her bed and my roommate spring up to greet me. At first, I was frustrated. I had no where to go. But I ended up having a really good time with them. It made me feel better.

Here is the thing, though. It is not that I think I am better than these people, in fact, I envy them. Sure, they listen to music that I think is horrible, but they, unlike me, are having fun. After spending time with people at home that I am so compatible with it is hard coming here and trying to find it all over again. It's really an uncomfortable process for me. Especially coming to a school that is known for "people like this." What am I even saying right now? Isn't it awful that I am putting everyone in this school into a category? God dammit.

Eh. Well, I am looking forward to when classes start and I can meet people that are like me in groups that interest me. Today we have the whole day off and my roommate and her boyfriend are going off campus to visit someone's brother in law or something or other for dinner. I don't know what I am going to do quite yet. All the rest of the upperclassmen move in today. I think I'll go to the gym and watch a movie in my dorm room. Maybe I'll meet someone.

This is getting real.